To succeed, be happy: Strong personal bonds help create achievers

by NAVEEN KHAJANCHI, Hindu Business Line

Cherish, nourish and flourish. These words are key to your happiness. From here starts a journey of our being happy, and making others happy. Our relationship with ourselves and others is very critical to our well being. I think it’s all about accepting oneself with our limitations and accepting others with their limitations that helps us to move forward in life. This is corroborated by a Carnegie Mellon University–led study.

It is also important to have a sense of purpose in life. People are depressed because they do not find meaning in what they do.

Cherish what is there — the good relationships around you, the people, your family, your friends. It’s about changing your perspective to cherish people while they are there. Reduce the guilt, anxiety and stress of what you could not do; start doing what you can do easily. A daily action for one family member, even small things, may mean investing 15 minutes of your time. But the impact that it has is immeasurable. Sometimes, in office, we may hate our boss for being strict. We realise later that we owe our success to that rigour and experience.

Nourish your mind and your body. There will be times when relationships will be strained due to conflict. But this is a part and parcel of life. The Harvard Study of Adult Development, a research project that started from 1938 and continued till 2016, found that throughout the years, one of the most important factors that strongly influenced health and well-being, were relationships with friends, and especially spouses. People in the best relationships had fewer occurrences of chronic disease, mental illness and memory decline — even if those relationships went through many ups and downs.

Research on self-control shows that willpower, for all its benefits, wanes over time. As we try to make ourselves study, work, exercise or save money, the mental effort to keep focused and motivated increases until it seems too difficult to bear. Our view of obtaining success is stressful; humans have actually succeeded due to the relationships they have managed to maintain. Showing traits of fairness, gratitude and honesty increases self control without your stressing out.

Feeling pride or compassion has been shown to increase perseverance on difficult tasks by over 30 per cent. Likewise, gratitude and compassion have been tied to better academic performance, a greater willingness to exercise and eat healthily, and lower levels of consumerism, impulsive behaviour, tobacco and alcohol use. If using willpower causes stress, using these emotions actually heals: They slow heart rate, lower blood pressure and reduce feelings of anxiety and depression.

Become seamless in your persona, assess others but do not judge; do not let ego, power and money go to your head. Appreciate nature, family and friends and take care of your health. Do your duties with diligence, empower yourself and others responsibly to live and let live.

Here’s the ATM of happiness, in a nutshell:

A - Accept the present situation with objectivity, let go of the past and stop worrying about future;

T - Take charge of your thoughts, expectations, fears and hope in a manner that negativity can be reset to a positive / neutral position to move forward;

M - Make the best of what you have in an effective manner with gratitude.

The writer is CEO & Director of Executive Search Service. Today is World Happiness Day.

Read the article: Khajanchi, N. (2018, March 19). To succeed, be happy. The Hindu Business Line. Retrieved from https://www.thehindubusinessline.com/opinion/strong-personal-bonds-help-create-achievers/article23295308.ece


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